Learned From My Mistakes
by AlorevFritz
Summary: Dean knew something was up between his future self and future Cas. He had hoped, with some small part of himself, that it would be better than what it actually was. That there would be something between them that would allow them to escape from the world Dean's decisions had created. But there wasn't. So Dean's first move to change the future, is to fix that specific mistake.


**A/N: ****I wrote this quite a while ago and just thought I'd put it up here. If you don't like angst maybe not a good read but it is a fluffy ending. Enjoy!**

**~Alorev**

Dean watched as Lucifer disappeared, and tried to breathe deeply. Lucifer had won, his future self was dead, Cas was in the warehouse with the others and probably dead and-

Cas.

Dean took off at a run toward the warehouse, scooping up the Colt off the body of his deceased future self. It would hopefully take Zachariah a little while to really get a bead on him and send him home, which would give him a little bit of time. As long as he wasn't where Zachariah expected him to be, the markings on his ribs would work. Or so he hoped.

"Cas!" Dean stormed in, ignoring the dead bodies around him and looking only for Castiel. Only for that shock of messy black hair or clear blue eyes. For a moment he regretted the fact that Cas wasn't wearing his signature tan trench coat anymore. "Cas!"

"Dean?"

The voice was weak and came from the opposite side of the warehouse, Dean sprinted toward Castiel's call, skidding around a corner.

Cas was lying on his back, chest barely moving up and down, a few dead croats around him. His eyes were barely open but they searched the dark around him, managing to focus in on Dean and he looked relieved when they did.

"Oh Cas…" Dean dropped to his side, reaching over as he surveyed Cas' wounds. There wasn't much he could do for him at the moment and Dean knew it. Castiel's chest was ripped open with a few deep gashes and Dean wasn't quite sure how many broken bones he had but the number had to be up there judging by the way Cas was breathing and the angle his leg was twisted at.

"'M not...'m not infected." Cas' voice was weak, a murmur and Dean winced.

"'S not what I was worried about." Dean leveraged Castiel up, hauling him to lean against a wall, by his armpits. He ignored Cas' cries, attempting to get him into a more comfortable position.

"What...what happened? Out there?"

Dean slid down to sit next to Cas, raking a hand through his messed up hair. "Cas, I…"

"Please just tell me." Cas stuttered out a breath as Dean stripped off his sweater and wrapped it around the gashes on Castiel's torso. His voice was pleading and commanding all at once, needing an answer not about whether they'd stopped Lucifer, but about Dean.

"He couldn't do it. I couldn't do it either." Dean swallowed hard. "I'm sorry Cas, I'm so sorry."

Castiel chuckled sarcastically and Dean knew he still had a problem hearing those noises come from Castiel, so unlike the innocent, naive Cas he knew and was used to. "I wasn't expecting either of you to be able too. Not when it's Sam's body and you know he's in there. I don't know if I could've, I liked Sam too. We all did."

He coughed, spitting up a little blood and Dean gingerly wiped it away before Cas continued. "So, Dean's dead then?"

Dean started, realizing this was the first time he'd heard future Castiel refer to future Dean by name. "Ya, Lucifer...Lucifer snapped his neck."

Cas nodded, eyes falling and stricken and one hand gripped his torso, the other reaching out in a silent plea. Dean indulged him, gripping his hand tightly. "There were...a lot of things...I should've told him...but I hope he's going to be happy. Somehow. He won't go to Hell if there is still a Heaven. I hope he has a few happy memories left."

"There are a lot of things he should've told you." Dean pulled Castiel close, holding him gently. "I don't...I don't even need to ask, I just know that he never…because I know I would've never...I should…"

Dean trailed off, suddenly unsure if he could finish and if it was Cas shaking or himself. Or both of them.

Cas whimpered softly as Dean pulled the ex-angel onto his lap but he didn't resist and immediately melted into Dean's embrace.

"I should've...should've told you how I felt about you. Not a year ago or two or three but five years ago. I knew this could happen and I still didn't…" Cas' head was a heavy weight against his shoulder and Dean leaned down, guiding Cas to tilt his head upwards.

The kiss was gentle and weak and love-sick and the relief was clear. Dean spoke as the separated. "Me too. An'...I'm...Cas, I've learned a lot here an'...I'm gonna try to fix what I can. You need to know an' I need to say it too. It was never your fault that I kept pushing you away."

"Are you going to say yes to Michael?" Cas' voice carried a bit of his past self and Dean's breath caught.

"Maybe…" He admitted softly, nervously. "But I'm gonna try to change things other than that first. Starting with this."

There were tears in Castiel's eyes and Dean kissed him again so he didn't have to watch his angel cry, blindly wiping away the droplets as they started to fall. He set their foreheads together as they parted for a breath and Castiel pressed against him. "I love you Dean."

"I know." Dean tried to make his voice a little stronger, trying to be stronger for a Castiel and for himself. He felt helpless but he wasn't quite sure what to do so he fell back on his default mode of trying to be the dependable one. "I love you too Cas. You're gonna be okay, it's all gonna be okay."

Cas closed his eyes momentarily. "Alright, ya, it's gonna be okay."

Dean tried for a weak smile, knowing it came out as grimace instead. "Thanks for trying Cas."

"I learned lying for comfort was a thing humans do quite a bit to make themselves and other feel better." Again Dean felt that spark of past Cas but his voice was broken and in response Dean felt as though a piece of himself were breaking apart.

They sat in silence for a good five minutes, Castiel drifting in and out of consciousness, when Dean heard a truck engine.

Cas woke up with a start as Dean lifted him bridal style, crying out as he was jostled.

"Sorry." Dean ignored the bodies of the team and the croats on the way out, nearly crying when he saw who was in the passengers seat of the truck. This was a relief, an utter relief. It wasn't Zachariah or Lucifer and that's all he could've cared about at that moment.

Chuck jumped out before the truck had even stopped. "Oh-oh my...what happened? Did anyone else?"

"Dead." Dean didn't elaborate as Chuck opened the door for him and he laid Castiel across the backseat.

"And Lucifer…?"

"Got away."

Chuck deflated. "Crap, crap, crap…"

In one movement Dean smoothly switched the Colt to Chuck's possession. "Here, you're gonna need it and Cas' in no shape to use it,"

"Dean."

Dean cringed at the voice but didn't turn around, even when he saw Chuck's eyes go saucer-wide. "Look, I don't know how much longer you or Cas or anyone else has got, but I want you to take care of him and take care of yourself. I'm gonna do everything possible to keep this from happening but just...whatever time you got left, do what makes you happy with what you've got and help Cas out for me 'kay? Do something, anything you enjoy. Write Chuck, write about whatever, write about something totally removed from this. I know I never said anything but you're not half bad at writing."

Chuck nodded vigorously and hugged Dean hard for a moment. "Promise. And thanks for...for trying."

"Dean."

Dean shook his head and leaned over, kissing Castiel again. "See you soon Cas."

"Yes." His voice was weak and tired but Dean could feel the weight the word carried.

He ushered Chuck into the passengers seat as the voice called out again.

"Dean."

"Ya, 'm coming." Dean turned to face Zachariah and walked forward to meet him, not looking back at the truck as he did so.

/

It was under five minutes that Dean went from five years in the future and kissing Castiel goodbye to the present and standing next to the angel on the side of a road.

"Nice timing Cas."

Cas turned to face him, expression so different from his future self, so neutral and slightly confused with a hint of command to it. "We had an appointment."

Dean was struck by the changes even more in that instant and he couldn't help the chuckle that slipped out. He clapped a hand on Cas' shoulder and captured his attention by motioning with his other hand. "Cas, don't ever change."

Cas tilted his head slightly and it was like every muscle in Dean's body clenched and then he was leaning forward, pulling Cas to him by his shoulder and wrapping an arm around the angels waist and kissing him as his other hand wrapped around Cas' head and entangled in itself in the angels hair.

When he pulled away Cas was still staring at him curiously with that adorable head tilt. "Dean, why did you-"

"I'm sorry Cas, but I had to. I had to let you know how I felt before…before it's too late." Dean broke in quickly and forged on before he lost his courage, he had to do this, had to do this or he knew what would happen, knew he'd regret it every day of his life. Everyday of his life whether he had one day left or a year or five years or twenty years.

"Dean, I meant why did you stop?" Cas looked up at him with those big blue eyes, hair messy, tie loosened and backwards, trench coat flapping in the wind and Dean felt a weight lift off his chest.

Dean let out a breathy laugh and leaned forward to kiss him again.


End file.
